I was a creative long before I even knew what the word meant. I have always wanted to write but of all the creative things I have dabbled into, writing did not come first. In nursery school, I was one of the best artists (nursery school standard, of course); so good I had my drawings up on the wall outside our classroom. Everyone thought I would be an artist and my parents nurtured this gift and praised anything I illustrated. Later on, I took up painting and as a teenager, music and acting. But I had discovered the art of reading in my first year of primary school. We would read a new book each week and on Fridays, form a circle in the classroom to discuss the book. It was in those years I itched to write a story I wanted to read. So, even though I went through different forms of creativity as I got older, writing stuck through all the phases.
With all these, and more, it somehow got deep-rooted in my head that I was the best creative (at writing especially) and so at thirteen, when I saw the works of another thirteen year old writer, I experienced my first episode of artistic envy. I do not remember the exact details now but I wished I was the one who had created those characters she deftly brought to life in her stories. I wanted to write like her, to have my characters talk about parties, snow, dating and driving; most of these things I was yet to experience but of course, her writing influenced mine and soon my characters began to break up and get drunk. Not long after, unhealthy competition began. It took years before I found my writing voice again. In fact, it was until I was older I realized I even lost it in the first place. That was the extent to which I let artistic envy rule me.
Another worthy of mention experience I have had with artistic envy was at an open mic night I attended. My emotions got to me so badly I told myself I would not attend another one ever. The event itself was graceful and packed with the most gifted people I had ever met. One attendee even came along with his own published book to read an excerpt from it. Now, I wished that was me but not in the purest form of that wish; it was in near bitterness because I wanted the accolades that came along with people appreciating his art. I envied his courage to share his art, something I greatly lacked at the time.
Very recently, a friend of mine pointed out the difference between jealousy and envy to me. You see, I had always thought they were synonyms so I used them interchangeably until the day I got corrected. Then I got thinking about both emotions and how simply comparing yourself/art to others could lead to envy if you get carried away. So, if you did not know before now, even if you still won’t leave a comment for that creative you admire, you would leave here knowing that jealousy and envy are siblings, but two different emotions.
So how and why are they different?
Jealousy typically involves three parties. When you are jealous, the threat of losing someone or something is usually involved while envy happens when you lack a desired attribute someone else has. While both emotions differ, sometimes they are felt simultaneously as you may feel jealousy alongside envy. For example; if your partner begins to get cozy with their opposite gendered friend, you get jealous of the time they spend together, the bond they are seemingly grooming. Envy sets in when you find in this friend the things you do not see in yourself. Although, these two emotions start out little and a teeny bit unnoticeable, it could get bigger and lead to serious outcomes if not controlled like one Melanie Smith, a British woman who burnt her neighbours to death because they were happy together and she was barely treading the waters of her tempestuous relationship. Even her children tagged her as the most evil woman in Britain. But of course, artistic envy hardly turns out that way and the more exposed I have become, the easier it has been to deal with artistic envy and truly appreciate the works of other creatives without any underlying cynicism. Here are some tips that helped me and if you find yourself struggling with artistic envy, they just might help you too.
1. Send a compliment; it will be hard to wholeheartedly mean it, just send something you would naturally send were you not envious. Give them the hype they deserve.
2. Study the elements that have been ingrained into the work; ask yourself, how can I learn from this person’s style? What exactly about their art makes me envious? This is an important tip especially if you are fairly inexperienced compared to them.
3. Talk to someone you trust! Verbalize your emotions. You just might realize you’re not alone in your feelings.
4. Dedication, perseverance, commitment and hard work most likely got them to where they are so get your attention off them and on you. Put in the work, set goals and track your successes no matter how small.
5. List out your feats. At certain points in your life, taking a shower is an accomplishment, hitting one hundred followers is an accomplishment, getting recognized by anyone for your work is an accomplishment. List them out, enjoy the thrill while it lasts because soon again, you’ll top those accomplishments. Compete with just you.
6. Stop comparing—usually, there is always someone going to be better than you and at the same time there would always be someone you are better than. Stop wishing your art is exactly like theirs and let your style speak for itself as that difference is what makes your art peculiar to you.
To end with, remember that envy can be seriously damaging to the evolution of your art if you focus on it and get sidetracked.
