On Turning 21

These Years…

“These are the years that have come at me from nowhere, from nothing, before I was ready. Before I knew how to give as good as I get. They have come in a rush, a whirlwind, joy dressed as hardship, happiness cloaked in sorrow, sunshine overflowing in my cupped palms. These years have come as a trial, a lesson, a fire lit within me that cannot be diminished, a beautiful dream and the will to see it through. I am thankful for these years, to be humbled by them, to let them do what they will, and I count my blessings day by day, count the years that follow, knowing I will make them mine”

Lang Leav

Love Looks Pretty on You

I will start from April 2020, when the lockdown and unease from not fully knowing how Covid 19 worked was on high. I was excited to be turning twenty, I think mainly because it made me officially no longer a teenager. The major plan I had that year was to graduate from school but of course, the year ended and I was still a student. I knew that it was the year that I came out of my shell, the year I tried new things, became intentional about my relationships and learned to feel emotions wholeheartedly. If only I knew that all of these things would come like a huge gust of wind and almost throw me off balance. Twenty tested me! It worked overtime to make its mark in my life’s story and it has. I expected twists and turns in my journey but I had no idea mountains would plant themselves in my path, derail my plans and have me question the essence of my existence. In all though, I am thankful.

Before we get to where the juice is, I’ll tell you a short story. On the eve of my tenth birthday, we did not sleep at home, thanks to me. We had gone to get my birthday cake and my mum entrusted me with the house key. Then we got home and searched for that key everywhere in the car but it was decidedly MIA. Of course, mummy Moyin was livid; it was dark, we were tired and there was no way of gaining entry into the house. Olanike’s mum was a sweetheart though and she let us stay the night while she placated my mum. I think the key was found between/under the car seats the next morning. That night taught me responsibility and I have never lost a key since then. Why that story? Growing up, I always thought that age would change me, that I would shed my childhood and become a totally different person the older I got. But I’ve just realized that I will always be essentially, the same person. Experience will make its mark but I will always be the girl who triple checks that her keys are always in her bag whenever she’s out. Recently, I saw a video of me from my tenth birthday party and the jolt to reality was extreme. What seemed like donkey years to me back then; the distance between ten and twenty one was really a small gap dotted with laughter, tears and too many school examinations.

Now, the juicy part. Anyone who survived 2020 survived A LOT so I am going to skip that part and get to the point where I share with you lessons I picked up and relearned this past year. I hope that you find one or two relatable . So, as I step into this next year, I pray and hope to continue practicing discernment in all aspects of my life and to take with me the strength to continue to live passionately. To twenty one!

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Have a baby! Not a human baby; a plant, pet, project, YT channel, podcast, business, career. Just anything you can nurture and track its growth, birth it.

Life will surprise you. The good, the bad, take it all as it comes and keep living.

Time won’t wait for you. Do what you have to do.

Whatever wants to steal your peace of mind and compromise your person, run far away from it.

A lot of people are just as clueless. You’re not weird or a failure. Take it a season at a time.

Immerse yourself in the right crowd. Find and be with people who share your values.

Genuinely appreciate and pray for your parents/benefactors.

You lack confidence? Fake it if you have to. But have the courage, grit and stamina to turn that lie on its head. Make it spell truth.

You could be the toxic one. Check yourself, be open to correction.

You don’t have to be this or that at a certain age.

Acquaintances, friends, mentors, influencers; surround yourself with people who feel like peace, people who challenge you to be a better person.

Don’t forget to be a person who feels like peace to others.

Your instincts, most of the time aren’t lying.

You don’t always have to do it on your own. Companionship is bliss.

Never forget the importance of family. Keep them close to your heart.

The essence of who you are is found within you, not in the thoughts of others.

You can’t be genuinely happy for your friends’ wins? Check yourself.

Track your growth in life. Take pictures, write notes, keep souvenirs etc.

When you have the opportunity to help someone, do it passionately.

Billy Joel’s Vienna. It’s a song, a story and a life lesson.

And so on the eve of my birthday eleven years after losing the key to the house, I say, thanks for reading. 🌹